LYING, PART III. . .

The abuse of truth ought to be as much punished as the introduction to falsehood. –Pascal, ‘Pensées’

As I noted last time, Gentle Reader, this morning we will briefly explore ‘Dumping-Delight’ and ‘Truth-Dumping.’  Then we will delve deeper into a definition of ‘Lying’.

Dumping-Delight.  This concept evokes the pleasure, excitement, allure and challenge that lying involves.  The concept includes any or all of the positive feelings that emerge when one lies.  I might well feel pleasure when I lie to a gullible friend  or to the glee that I experience when I mislead the other.  When I was seven years old I was standing on the street corner by our house.  A car pulled up and the driver asked for directions to a certain place.  I had no idea where this place was but I acted as if I did and provided him with detailed directions and felt great glee when the driver thanked me and drove off.

The liar might feel the excitement of anticipation – as the lie is being delivered; I felt this as I was weaving the fabric of my lie.  I felt more excitement as I was offering the driver the completed fabric; the excitement that comes with the unknown – will the dupe accept what I have woven?

After the lie has been accepted there is the pleasure that comes with relief, pride of achievement or feelings of contempt for the one duped.  At ‘seven’ I did feel pride; I don’t recall a feeling of contempt for the driver [‘contempt’ is an abstract concept that seven year olds can’t grasp – thankfully].

Truth-Dumping.  This concept conveys the harm that brutal, often needless and uncaring truth-telling can wreak.  Parents do this when they bombard their children with criticisms.  Spouses do this when they dwell on the short-comings of one another – when they focus, over and over again on each other’s dreariest traits.  Curt health-care professionals shock unprepared, or ill-prepared, patients with grim news.  Each would – often does – claim that ‘I am only being truth-full!’  They do not realize that they are violating standards of care, compassion, love and respect (or they counter this realization with the ‘I am only telling the truth!’ or ‘This person needs to hear the truth!’)

Consider, Gentle Reader, this question: What would the world be like if each of us told nothing but the truth ceaselessly?

To pose this question we must assume that we operate, in our world, with only two alternatives: lying or constant, no-holds-bared truth-telling.  Yet, there is something amiss with this either-or.  It leaves no room for discretion, for the ability to discern what is and what is not intrusive or injurious or cruel.  Part of our challenge as people who care is the challenge of how to be ‘truth-full’ without being seduced by ‘truth-dumping.’

This leads us back to: How do I-You-We define lying?

Consider, Gentle Reader, that when we undertake to deceive others intentionally, we communicate messages meant to mislead them, meant to make them believe what we ourselves do not believe.  I-You-We do this through gesture, through disguise, by means of action or inaction, even via our silence.

Now here’s the question: Which of these innumerable deceptive messages are also lies?

I offer, again, my ‘current’ definition [‘current’ means for the past 30+ years]: A lie is any intentionally deceptive message which is stated.

‘Statements’ are most often made verbally or in writing, but can of course also be conveyed via smoke signals, Morse code, sign language, etc.  For me, ‘Deception’ is the umbrella category and lying is one part covered by the ‘Umbrella of Deception.’

Now, Gentle Reader, I am aware that it is possible to define ‘lying’ so that it is identical with ‘deception.’  For my purpose, however, I invite you to hold a primary distinction between ‘deceptive statements’ –lies – and all other forms of deception.

Here is my definition again: A lie is any intentionally deceptive message which is stated.

We will explore this a bit more next time.

Certainly, it is heaven upon earth to have a man’s mind move in charity…and turn upon the poles of truth. –Bacon, ‘Of Truth’