Charles Handy reminds us that learning is rooted in Experience plus Reflection. At times it helps to sit with another and reflect together. This ‘other’ person might be a peer or a partner or it might be someone that one reports to (say a supervisor or a manager or a director). We commonly label this type of reflection as ‘feedback.’ My experience is that generally when one hears the words ‘Let us meet for a feedback session’ that a negative image, not a positive image emerges into one’s consciousness. A ‘feedback session’ can, however become a learning experience for both participants (there are feedback experiences that involve more than two people and what I offer can be easily be adapted for more than two people). Following is a feedback process that promotes learning; this is a process that I have used and have ‘taught’ to others – if followed (or adapted to fit a relationship or situation) it helps promote Reflection and Learning.
THE PROCESS:
1. Seek to Understand: We seek to understand via inquiry. Ask questions that probe, that clarify, that help define and help both to understand the ‘issues’. It is crucial to avoid offering questions that are simply disguised evaluations, criticisms, or conclusions. For example, ‘Why haven’t you considered…?’
2. Build on Strengths: Together, identify the ‘strengths’ of the person or of the ‘product’ (e.g. the work done). Be specific about the ‘likes’ and the ‘strengths’ – generalities are useless. ‘You did a good job’ or ‘You work hard’ are not even heard by the recipient. Seek to be rooted in an ‘appreciative model’ or an ‘encouragement model’ rather than a ‘criticism-based model.’
3. Focus on Outcomes, etc.: Too often we focus on the ‘person’ when the learning will more likely occur when we focus on ‘outcomes,’ or ‘goals,’ or ‘concrete concerns’ or ‘products’ (a written report, for example). When we focus on the ‘person’ we are more likely to promote a defensive response in the recipient. Avoid evaluative statements like ‘What is wrong here is…’ even if it is true. A question like, ‘What might be improved about…’ tends to promote less defensiveness in the recipient.
4. Next Steps: Together emerge clear, concrete and specific ‘Next Steps’ – steps that will build on strengths, steps that will correct ‘errors’ (errors are the gaps between what we want to achieve and what we have achieved; our goal is to close the gaps), steps that will help ensure that we achieve the outcomes we both need ( you might need to spend time identifying, clarifying, and ‘naming’ what is ‘needed’ – not what is desired or wished for or wanted – by the by, strive to identify ‘high priority needs’ first; high priority needs are not negotiable all other needs are negotiable).
5. Emerge Agreements: Together emerge a few key agreements that both parties sign off on – sometimes it helps to put these in writing and to have each party literally ‘sign’ them. The more concrete, specific and clear the agreement the more likely it will be honored. Limit the number of agreements; my experience is that having two or three will be sufficient. It is also helpful to identify and name the potential ‘hindrances’ that will hinder, delay or ‘block’ one from holding the agreement. It is also helpful to identify and name the specific supports one will need in order to live into and out of the agreement.
