Recently I have been thinking about the ways that God not only invites us or challenges us but the way that God ups the ante. For example, one daunting challenge that God invites us to embrace is: Love one another as I have loved you! Tough enough for us – certainly for me.
God sits around and says to those listening – ‘That’s pretty good, but I think I will up the ante.’ For Christians God ups the ante with: But I say unto you that hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you. [Luke 6:27]
Loving one another is challenging enough for me. How can I even begin to accept God’s invitation and challenge to love my enemies?
Well, for thousands of years the great wisdom figures have provided us with some guidance. Simply stated this involves developing and enhancing the discipline, practice and art of looking. What does this mean? Consider the following and then I invite you, Gentle Reader, to engage the art of looking.
Each time you find yourself irritated or angry with another the one you look at is not the person – the one you look at is yourself. The wisdom figures remind us that it begins IN HERE, not out there. A question to ask is not ‘What’s wrong with that person?’ but ‘What does this irritation tell me about myself?’ Say to yourself: ‘The cause of my irritation is not in that person but is in me!’
Now think: ‘How am I causing this irritation?’ The wisdom figures have provided us some insight. One insight is that we are irritated the most by others because what irritates us actually resides within us (psychologists, and others, call this ‘projection’ – if I project this on to you then I don’t have to deal with it). Thank the person for revealing yourself to your self.
Or, consider this: Perhaps the other’s words and behavior are pointing out something in your own life – something you refuse to see and acknowledge. One of the reasons that wisdom figures have had such a difficult time is because we don’t like ourselves to be revealed to ourselves.
Or, consider this: Perhaps we become irritated with the other because he or she does not live up to our expectations. Their being imperfect reminds us of our own imperfections – they are a mirror to our own soul. We forget that we do not have the right to expect anyone to live up to our expectations.
Finally, the wisdom figures have counseled us for thousands of years that if we truly seek to understand the other we would ‘see’ that the other is crippled, wounded, fearful, and imperfect JUST LIKE WE ARE. We are less irritated with folks who are like us.
Now all of this is challenging enough when it comes to folks we know – folks who are not our enemies, folks who simply irritate us. How much more challenging is it for us to then love our enemies? God ups the ante! Am I willing to go all in with God? Well… I’ll have to get back to you on that one.