THE LEARNING. . .THE OPPORTUNITY. . .
Ten days ago I was invited to attend a three person panel discussion on the global issues of bioethics. I sent a RSVP confirming that I would attend both a pre-session reception and the session. I then wrote down the time and place in my calendar. I sent a RSVP confirming that I would attend both a pre-session reception and the session. I then wrote down the time and place in my calendar.
I did not know much about bioethics so I did a bit of searching and seeking and ended up purchasing three books. I then spent the next eight days reading, taking notes and reflecting. The day of the reception and session I traveled with an intention that I would return in time for the reception and session. Travel back to the city went well and I had two hours of ‘downtime’ before I needed to head off to the reception. I arrived at the University early – which is my norm, to be early that is. I found a place to park just outside of the venue’s doors. I waited. No one seemed to be showing up. After about 10 minutes I entered the building. It was dark and deserted. I wondered around and finally came upon an office; the door was open and a light was on. As I entered I was greeted by a professor who was preparing for a night class. He did not know about the session but did stop and look it up on his computer. ‘Ah,’ he said. ‘There it is. It looks quite interesting.’ He paused, looked up at me and then said, ‘The session was last night!’ He smiled (a smile of sympathy, not sarcasm). I thanked him and went back to my car.
I then spent the next few minutes developing a good funk. Not only had I written down the wrong date, I had, I was sure, offended the professor who had invited me. I was a no-show! I was working up a good ‘I’m so mortified’ feeling. A ‘funk and a feeling.’ I was on a roll or was it ‘I was in a role’ – a familiar one. So I drove home, nurturing both my ‘funk and my feeling.’ I stopped to pick up a few things at a store. After I parked I decided to call my friend, Jim. It was now about 6:20pm. I didn’t think he would answer; it was dinner time. I called, he didn’t answer and I left him a message. I offered up my ‘funk and my feelings.’ I disconnected (with cell phones we disconnect, we don’t ‘hang up’). Within two minutes he called me – I was still sitting in my car nurturing my ‘funk and feelings.’ As soon as he began speaking I began questioning: ‘Why did I call him?’ He is the terminal optimist; he can see the pony for all of the dung (an old story about a ‘Christmas gift’). He’s going to be upbeat and ask me ‘What can you learn from this?’ ‘What’s the lesson?’ AND ‘What is the opportunity that is now available to you?’ Hey… I was just getting into developing a wonderful ‘funk and feeling’ experience and here you go and spoil it for me. I did my best to deflect his ‘light’ but he was resistant to supporting my ‘funk and feeling.’ ‘Why did I call you?’ I asked. We spoke a bit more.
We disconnected and I went shopping. Upon returning to my car I did ask: ‘Why did you call Jim?’ I could have called a number of folks who would have supported my ‘funk and feelings’ and I could have had a great time wallowing in both. But NO…I had to call Jim. I realized, then, that my ‘funk and feelings’ had taken a hike. I began to think about what I might learn from this experience (in addition to the obvious) and to seek out the opportunities that are waiting for me to acknowledge. Sitting here this morning I realize that I have learned, some, and I have identified, some, opportunities.
I must admit that I am missing my ‘funk and feelings’ – it does ‘feel so good to feel bad’ sometimes. But, alas, I am not able to recapture them this morning. So I guess I will continue to search and seek for what I might learn and for the opportunities that are lying about waiting for me to pick them up.