It was a day in May, 1992 when I entered a room and sat down across from the man who would become the fourth mentor I mentioned in ‘PART I.’ I was 48 years old. For months I had been holding an intention that a mentor be revealed to me; I knew I had a need for one although I did not know what my need was.
R.T. Williams. On that day in May, R.T. introduced himself: ‘I’m R.T. Williams; in the South R.T. is a real name.’ R.T. was my mentor for the next 8 years. In the spring of 2000 we were in the process of redefining our relationship when R.T. died suddenly; R.T. had emerged a ‘big dream’ and we had been embracing and exploring his ‘big dream’ for months.
R.T. was an educator. He saw potential waiting to be called forth. R.T. called forth some gifts, talents, and abilities that lay dormant within me; he also affirmed and helped me develop more fully other gifts, talents and abilities that I possessed; they were already alive, if not blossoming. His main method was inquiry. He would ‘name’ if he was referring to a gift, talent, or ability that I already knew that I possessed. He saw his ‘charge’ as two-fold: to call forth and to affirm. One powerful way he did this was to, literally, follow me around the country (twice he followed me to England and The Netherlands). He would register for a learning session or leadership retreat that I was guiding; he would show up and participate. Afterwards we would spend hours together and he would ask me questions and he would affirm me. His questions were intellectually stretching, challenging and at times intimidating. His affirmations were clear and concise.
I thought I asked good questions until I spent time with R.T. ‘Why that question?’ he would ask. ‘How did this question,’ [he would then repeat the question I had asked] ‘enable them to think more broadly or deeply?’ R.T. helped me understand the value of ‘reflection plus experience’ – that is, reflecting, via questions, upon what I had experienced. R.T. also helped me become more aware of the ‘power’ of what he called ‘your throw-away-lines.’ This continues to be a challenge for me – to recognize the impact certain ‘spontaneous’ questions or observations or comments or examples or stories have upon the other(s).
R.T. affirmed my ‘story-telling’ talent. I seldom began a session thinking about a story that might help ground an idea or that might help stimulate the thinking of the participants; a story would emerge into my consciousness as the session progressed. R.T. also called forth my ability to help others uncover and discern their gifts, talents, abilities, and potentials – he called forth more fully and deeply the ‘educator’ that I was/am called to be. R.T. noticed my love of metaphor and he encouraged me, again via questions, as to how I might employ ‘metaphor’ in order to help ‘make a point’ or more importantly to help the participants discern the major metaphors they had integrated, perpahs a metaphor that helped frame and define their reality.
So, Gentle Reader, have you had a mentor or two or three in your life? If so, what did your mentor call forth and affirm that resided within you? How did you respond to your mentor calling you forth? When and how did you thank your mentor?
Thank you, Larry, Stan, Lowell and R.T. – I am a better person because you were/are in my life.