‘Deep Stillness’ requires a ‘Still Place.’ There is, of course, the ‘inner place’ that must become ‘Still.’ Even after all of these years I am still amazed – and a bit taken aback – when I become aware of the diversity and intensity of my inner noise; the noise that calls me to distraction.
I found that I also need a ‘Still Place’ where I can go and withdraw. For the early monks – and for all monks since then and for all of us seeking to find this ‘Still Place’ – this mean finding a place free of unnecessary distractions, a place where God can find us (by the by, gentle reader, I like Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel’s belief that ‘God seeks us;’ we are the ones hiding from God).
The monk had his cell. The cell itself was simple; yet it was anything but simple for a monk to inhabit his cell. I do not have a cell, as such. I do, however, have a chair. I can eliminate some of the external distractions; I can even eliminate the light. The elimination of my inner distractions, however, continues to present me with the greatest challenge (I do not believe I am alone when it comes to this ‘greater challenge’).
Creating stillness so that God can find me also entails some other consequences (initially they were unintended; now they are more intentional). I quickly learned that in order to inhabit this ‘Still Place’ that I had to become vulnerable – to become awake and aware. I was challenged to face myself and to do so without evasion, prejudice, or judgment (as an imperfect human being I will not accomplish this ‘perfectly’ but I can become more ‘consistent’). The monks also struggled with this challenge of ‘facing oneself.’ The monk would become tempted to leave his cell (literally) and I am tempted to leave my ‘Still Place’ – symbolically and literally.
I have another wonderful book, The Desert Christians: Sayings of the Desert Fathers. One of the ‘Fathers’ that is often quoted is Abba Antony. He writes: Just as fish die if they stay too long out of water, so do monks who loiter outside their cells or pass their time with [persons] of the world lose the intensity of inner stillness.
Abba Antony’s words call me to be awake and aware, intentional and purposeful. His words remind me of how easy it is for me to evade the ‘real work’ involved in ‘Deep Stillness,’ in Hesychia. His words remind me as to how easy it is for me to yield to the temptation to live a life of chronic busyness and chronic distraction. How can God find me if I am busy and distracted?
Do I truly believe that God is alive within me? If I do, then why do I choose to hide from God? Why do I choose chronic busyness and chronic distraction?
This morning I leave us with the words of Evagrius, a Desert Father: Cut the desire for many things out of your heart and so prevent your mind being dispersed and your stillness lost.