As I recall I was ‘officially’ introduced to the concept of ‘Mentor’ when I was twenty-one. I was a participant in a Great Books seminar (one of my favorite higher educational experiences); there were twelve of us in the seminar. Basically, we read great books (or parts of them), reflected upon them, wrote a one page response; then we sat around for two hours and engaged in a searching conversation. What a gift.
We read Homer’s writings and I was introduced to the concept of ‘Mentor.’ It was a three credit course without the pressure of ‘grades’ (it was ‘Pass-Fail’) and each student had been personally invited by the professor. He had chosen well – we were a diverse group when it came to ‘majors’ (some in science, some in the arts, some in business and some who were in the law school). The richness of the experience continues to feed me fifty-seven years later (talk about impact). The professor listened and guided us via questions (in two hours he might ask four questions). His infrequent questions helped us ‘go deeper. Throughout the 16 weeks we were together we all learned to frame more intellectually stretching and challenging questions, we learned to listen intently and receptively, and we learned to value diverse thinking.
This morning I will briefly share with you, Gentle Reader, another of my mentors. This mentor entered my life when I was 27 years old. I had been holding an intention for a time that a mentor appear, that I recognized him/her, and that I then had the courage (heart) to receive him/her.
Lowell Colston. I live in Indianapolis. I moved here in June, 1971 (the reasons are many). In late September, 1971 I met Lowell Colston. A new friend of mine, Mark, invited me to attend a lecture. The speaker was Lowell Colston; he and I met and chatted briefly that evening. The next morning I called Lowell and asked to visit with him in his office. As I settled in his office the following day I said: ‘I don’t know why but I think you are to be in my life.’
Lowell was a soft spoken man; a quiet man. His gaze was warm, welcoming and intense. He was more quietly reflective than verbal; his silence spoke volumes. His listening was invitational and affirming; it was also stretching and challenging. During our conversation we explored a number of topics. As we began to conclude our conversation Lowell suggested a ‘trade-off.’ I would help him and he would help me. Thus began an eight year journey with Lowell as my mentor.
I co-led several groups with Lowell (human potential groups). After each session we would meet and ‘debrief’ the session. He would inquire and I would reflect and respond. He would then inquire regarding my response and I would reflect and respond again. This pattern would continue for an hour or so. I learned. I learned via his questions and via my reflections and via my responses. One of the things I learned was that I possessed innate gifts that enabled me to guide others in searching conversations. Lowell did not teach me. He ‘educated me’ – ‘educare’ = to call forth. When he served me (the other part of our bargain) the roles would be reversed. I would inquire, he would reflect and respond. He affirmed my innate curiosity. He affirmed my ability to learn to ask questions that would stretch and challenge. He called forth my innate ability to listen to all sides.
Often he would give me a book that we would read. I would then emerge a few ‘burning questions’ – he would do the same. We would then meet and spend 2-3 hours talking and exploring together. In early March, 1975 he handed me a 38 page booklet to read. He had been given this booklet a year before by a colleague of his. I cannot count the number of times I have read this essay since then; thirty times at least. The essay – and the concepts written about – helped frame my thinking and my very being.
In 1979 Lowell Colston announced that our ‘mentor-relationship’ was over; we remained friends and colleagues until his death. As my mentor Lowell taught me the difference between ‘teaching’ (the expert putting stuff in) and ‘educating’ (calling forth the gifts, talents, abilities, insights, and wisdom that resides within each of us). When asked, ‘What do you do?’ I respond: ‘I am a depth-educator; I call forth one’s voice and story’. Thanks, Lowell.
Searcher-Seeker 