A few weeks ago I was immersing myself in Homer’s writing. Homer had introduced me to the concept of ‘Mentor’ via the person ‘Mentor.’ As I thought about Homer’s ‘Mentor’ I began to think about the Mentors that have been my guides. After some more reflection I decided to write a bit about the concept ‘Mentor’ and provide a few examples from my own life. ‘Mentor’ is a word that is bandied about these days; like ‘coach’ its meaning has become so general that we seem to have lost its original meaning.
Consider the root of ‘Mentor’.’ Homer tells us that Mentor was an ‘elder’ and a wise man. As Odysseus was preparing to leave for the Trojan War he chose Mentor to guide his young son, Telemachus. Thanks to Homer we have a name for a wise elder that calls forth the potential in another. A mentor is wise. Becoming wise is no easy feat, hence a mentor is ‘old’ and has ‘lived a full life’ and has learned and continues to learn; too often the modern mentor is not wise, and is often too ‘young’.
Traditionally, a mentor is not a bringer of comfort or solace. A mentor challenges one’s thinking and one’s self-perception. A mentor ‘sees’ the gifts, talents, abilities, and potentials that lie dormant within the person and then calls them forth (sometimes the mentor even names them). A mentor is not assigned. A mentor shows up and it is up to the person to invite the mentor into his/her life. If the person is not ready the mentor will not be recognized – if the person is not seeking and searching and if the person is not open to meeting his/her mentor then the mentor will not be revealed. The person often ‘resists’ the mentor’s ‘calling forth.’ The mentor, however, is adamant and continues challenging the person by ‘naming,’ ‘calling forth,’ and ‘challenging’ – the mentor is also affirming and strives to help the mentee build upon his/her strengths and develop or develop more fully the mentee’s potentials.
The relationship will eventually end (my mentor relationships have lasted, on average, six years). The person might terminate the relationship – prematurely. The mentor might terminate the relationship – ‘I have provided all that I can provide.’ Once in a while the person will discern that the mentor has provided all that he/she can provide. I have never had a mentor relationship that terminated because both of us agreed ‘Now is the time!’
I continue to hold a question: ‘Does my mentor have to actually be in my life?’ I have, for example, been deeply affected by 3-4 authors; through their writings they have called me forth and have helped me identify ‘potentials’ that I was not fully aware of possessing. The mentors who were living human beings in my life – who interacted with me face-to-face – and are now no longer present to me as fully human beings – continue to guide me when I reflect upon how they called me forth. This is a question I will continue to hold.
Next time I will begin to briefly describe four of my mentors. Two appeared in my life when I was young and two appeared later in my life (one when I was in my late 20s and one when I was in my late 40s). Each saw in me ‘potentials’ that were dormant and each called them forth. Even today they continue to ‘gift’ me in surprising ways (or in ‘reminding ways’). Here are their names: Larry Kelly, Stan Swast, Lowell Colston, and R.T. Williams. By the by, a few of the authors that continue to call me forth include: Henri Nouwen, Douglas Steere, Robert K. Greenleaf, Eric Fromm, Leo Tolstoy, and Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel.
Searcher-Seeker 