Yesterday I guided a ‘zoom session’ for six health care professionals (physicians and clinical therapists). I have had the privilege of serving their wellness needs for more than 60 weeks. Like almost all those called to service (think: healthcare professionals, educators, faith-tradition ministers, parents, etc.) these folks are prone to self-sacrifice. Now self-sacrifice, in and of itself, is ‘neutral’ – it can become nurturing and it can become depleting. Too often, those called to serve spend more time residing on the depleting end of the spectrum.
Yesterday afternoon I spent some time reflecting on role-models that demonstrate a balance between ‘service & self-care.’ Gentle Reader, I invite you to take some time and identify a role-model or two or three that also demonstrate, for you, living a balance between ‘service & self-care.’ What do they model and what can you adapt from their modeling and integrate into your own life so that you are more ‘life-balanced?’
For me, one such model is Jesus. Jesus lived his message of love, forgiveness, healing and reconciliation. Jesus generously gave of himself. He also sought to take care of himself. I went to the Mark’s Gospel and quickly found a number of examples (see Mark 1:29-35). Mark was deeply impressed with how much Jesus did and captured it in six verses. Mark relays how Jesus served. Mark also relays how Jesus sought to take care of himself. After the energy-draining event: ‘In the morning, while it was still very dark, [Jesus] got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed.’
One of the ways that Jesus renewed was to go be alone – even if it was being alone, generally in prayer, for a brief time (there were, of course, days – think 40 days – when Jesus would be alone in prayer). Renewing energy comes from intentional, focused, ‘prayer-full’ time alone (NOTE: ‘Prayer’ can be in the form of deep meditation, deep breathing, deep relaxation, recitation of ‘prayers’ or ‘mantras’ or ‘poetry,’ etc.).
Jesus also allowed himself to be served by those who cared for him. I am thinking of his deep friendship with Mary, Martha and Lazarus. I can image Jesus allowing Mary to wash his feet – an act both of service and renewal.
Jesus is also self-caring and self-compassionate when he protects himself from harm by leaving places that reject him. Matthew tells us that Jesus ‘withdrew’ from a place that, if he had stayed, would have been physically harmful to him (Matthew 12:15). When Jesus experiences the dread of future arrest and crucifixion, he seeks to receive support from his disciples. He demonstrates need and being vulnerable when he asks them to be there for him during his hour of need (of course, how they responded is still another story).
Jesus never modeled that the one serving must suffer (think: burnout, depletion, self-violence by not caring for one’s self, etc.). Suffering, of course, will occur. However, the suffering that we inflict upon ourselves by refusing to care for ourselves is not ‘sacred suffering’ it is, rather, ‘profane suffering.’ At the worst it is ego-centric suffering – ‘See how I suffer for those I serve!’ Me thinks that Jesus would not support this type of suffering.
Searcher-Seeker 