The cup holds grief and balm in equal measure, light, darkness. Who drinks from it must change. –Mary Sarton
I vividly remember the moment I began to deeply ponder the cup as a symbol of my life. It was a beautiful day in May, the year was 1998. I was sitting with my spiritual guide (some call them spiritual directors – but since I do not like being ‘directed’ I replaced ‘Director’ with ‘Guide’). My guide handed me an empty cup and invited me to look inside and to think about my life – focusing on my spiritual life.
As I looked into the empty cup and as I gazed deeply into its depths my eyes began to tear up. I felt an enormous sense of sadness. What was this all about? What was the genesis of my sadness? I began to realize that I, like the cup, was spiritually empty; I was a cup and I was drained. Talk about experiencing the well of grief.
Since then I have found the cup to be a powerful teacher and guide for my inner life. I searched for a cup that I would keep and use during my times of reflection – within a week I found one and I still use it today. For me, the cup is a wonder-full image for inner growth. First, and foremost, the cup reminds me of my spiritual thirst – a thirst which is never fully satisfied.
As I hold my cup I see my life – I see my life’s emptiness and fullness; I see my life’s brokenness and healing; I see my life’s flaws and potentials.
A cup’s purpose is to hold, to fill up and to empty. It must be emptied so that it can be filled again. If left filled the contents become sour or stale or dis-eased. This filling and emptying is, for me, a symbol of my spiritual life/journey. A journey of emptying, filling, giving, receiving, accepting and letting go.
I continue to learn that my cup (my life) holds stale stuff that needs to be discarded. My cup also holds wonder-full stuff that needs to be shared. At times I am care-less with my cup and it is chipped and cracked – but not entirely broken. I, too, am chipped, cracked and flawed – and I, too, am not broken.
I continue to learn and I am reminded that I am called to share the light-giving contents of my cup with others.
I am looking at the rim of my cup. It has no beginning or ending. My spiritual life has no beginning and no ending – it is, indeed like the never ending circle. Yet there is a paradox here. Although my journey is never ending there are times when I will need to empty both the dis-eased liquid and the grace-filled liquid. I empty the dis-eased liquid in order to heal and I share my grace-filled liquid of love, compassion, empathy and forgiveness so that others may be blessed or healed. In sharing I am then blessed and healed.
I have become like a broken vessel. –Psalm 31:12
Searcher-Seeker 