There are many motives that bring people together. Some people come together in order to defend themselves against a common threat. Some come together to in order to protect certain values. Others come together because of shared likes or dislikes. Love as well as hatred can motivate people to come together.
When we come together we can focus upon and emphasize our differences. More often than not this leads to a destructive downward spiral. Emphasizing differences leads to misunderstanding and over time leads to folks avoiding other folks which leads some folks to no longer be welcomed and then it is a small step to banishing those folks and this, sadly, leads the favored ones to guilt free make those ‘others’ dead (they are, at minimum, shunned and at maximum killed).
There is, however, an upward spiral that is possible. When people come together and honor differences and focus on common boundaries folks then seek to understand the others, they reach out and seek to connect with them. They then not only welcome them, they invite them to come together and over time these folks are integrated into the community and the community evolves.
When we come together in this second way we are able to discern and accept the unique gifts that each person brings. We are able to create a safe and sacred place where each person can bring his or her vulnerabilities (their imperfect ‘humanity’). In embracing their differences while seeking common boundaries people begin to use their gifts and talents to serve one another’s high priority needs. People embrace their inter-dependence. The result is what we call ‘community’ (‘community’ means ‘togetherness’).
In community people learn that their sense of self does not depend upon their differences and that their self-esteem is rooted in love (for self and for the other). They experience that the sharing of their gifts and talents does not diminish them – it enhances them. In sharing, gifts are not diminished but are multiplied.
Each person’s gifts and talents are like small ceramic pieces. Each piece is a rich color – reds, blues, yellows, etc. When the pieces come together a wonder-full mosaic is created. The pieces are held together by the glue of love, forgiveness and healing. Each person’s uniqueness and each person’s differences are honored and form the little pieces that create the whole. Each piece is crucial to the whole and even the absence of the smallest piece leaves the whole incomplete.
There is another gift that this type of community gives its members. This is the gift of discovery or re-discovery. The community calls forth and creates space for each person’s hidden talents, gifts and potential abilities to be named, embraced and developed, or developed more fully.
The community then seeks to connect with, honor, and welcome other communities and the cycle continues only now it is a cycle that involves not only individuals but communities coming together to form larger, more diverse communities. Sadly, today, the first type of community is still the dominant community. I am not without hope; I hope and hold an intention that more of us will embrace the second type of community.