Transitions are the norm. Some occur quickly as I open the door, cross the threshold, and enter into the coffee shop. We have so many of these types of transitions every day that we, generally, don’t pay any attention to them.
Then there are the other transitions that require one to be patient, that require one to wait — perhaps for ‘Way’ to open; sometimes we have to wait on the threshold — we cannot go back nor for any number of reasons can we move across the threshold. Yet, we can’t remain standing on the threshold, at some point we must step over the threshold and enter.
Yet, there are transitions that call us to be patient and wait and this waiting immerses us in the waters of uncertainty, doubt and perhaps confusion. For some, they have to muster the courage and faith in order to step over the threshold; for others, they have to prepare themselves in other ways so that they can take the step.
It is not healthy for us to hurry these transitions, to step [or is it a leap] before we look; to rush in where fools dare not tread. We are becoming less and less a ‘waiting-patient’ culture and yet these life-changing transitions require us to pause, to slow down, to step-back, to prepare more intensely. I am thinking of a man I know well whose wife died suddenly — I happened to be with him when she died. For months he demonstrated that he was ‘stuck’ on the threshold; he could not go back, his wife was dead and he was not ready to move on. He is a man of action and so he became active by searching for a new place to live, not just a new home but a new state.
Circumstances prohibited his being able to sell his home so he waited. As the months passed be demonstrated more patience in his waiting. He also began to see across the threshold the glimpses of a life without his wife [‘She was my best friend’ was his grief-mantra]. After about 18 months he was ready to step across his threshold into a life without his wife. He continues to be a man of few words but his actions indicate to me that he is more and more ‘at home’ now. He did not move geographically as he also found that his support system — many people — was truly supportive.
I have been standing on a threshold for almost two years now. I am in a ‘holding pattern’ and as I look out over my threshold I see through a glass darkly. I cannot turn around and go back; the way has closed. I am not ready to cross the threshold. Part of me treasures this place and part of me is fear-full and anxious-full. As I search and seek and strive to remain patient so that I might discern ‘Way Opening’ I remain on the threshold.
I am remembering a man who participated in a four day retreat that I guided many years ago. He told me that he had wanted to come to the retreat a year prior but circumstances prohibited his doing so. He said that during that year he found himself ‘preparing’ for the retreat by becoming aware of the major life-transitions that he would be facing. He realized that this year of being patient and waiting enabled him to come to the retreat ready to engage his life-transitions. During the four days he became aware what he needed to do in order to step over the threshold. He contacted me a year after that and told me that he had ‘successfully’ made the transitions.
As many of you Gentle Readers know, I am a ‘Person of the Book’ [People of the Book = Jews, Christians, Muslims] and as I reflect this morning I am thinking of certain gospel stories: Jesus taking his time getting to the gravesite of his close friend Lazarus or his dilly-dalling around at the wedding feast prior to following his mother’s suggestion or his kneeling down and writing in the dirt prior to answering the question about ‘compassion or the law.’
This gives me hope as they remind me that waiting for the Divine to guide us is not such a bad thing (ask most Quakers about this). I am told that the voice of God comes as a whisper and so I must be quiet, and I must wait patiently in order to hear. James Finley offers us these words: “Be patient. Trust that God’s generosity is at work, bringing you to a realized oneness with God infinitely beyond anything you might have imagined possible.”
Gentle Reader: When have you found yourself on a life-transition threshold? What challenged you to be patient, to wait? What was it like for you to be patient and wait?
Searcher-Seeker 