There is a difference between loneliness and solitude, one will deplete you and one will nurture you. You have the power to choose. –Anonymous
SO, WHAT ARE some of the conditions that are conducive to ‘Solitude’? This morning, Gentle Reader, I will briefly explore two of these. [AN ASIDE: ‘Conditions’ – Think: Environment, Attitude, Need, Inner Space/External Space, etc.]
The Wilderness. All of the great wisdom figures, mystics and prophets (those we know about at any rate) spent time in the wilderness in order to experience solitude. When Moses fled for his life from Egypt, he fled to the wilderness. The great prophet, Amos, sought out and entered into the wilderness. Jesus spent forty day and forty nights in the wilderness. Paul, after his conversation with Ananias went into the wilderness. Gandhi spent time in the wilderness. Nelson Mandela spent years in the wilderness.
Sometimes the wilderness is an external place and sometimes it is an internal refuge. It is crucial to understand that the wilderness is not the desert nor is it the deep dark woods nor is it the ‘dark night of the soul’ (those are powerful metaphors that are, at times, confused with the wilderness and at times can become the wilderness – which adds to the confusion).
Each of us is challenged to discern and define that which constitutes our personal wilderness. Here is a guiding question: What space, internal or external, enables solitude to become ‘real’ for you? Here is another: What space provides you the freedom from internal & external noise, distraction, addiction, busyness, etc.?
For many years, I had one chair that I would sit in when I wanted to move into the wilderness and embrace solitude – most often it was an internal wilderness and solitude that I experienced. Even though I have lived alone the past 20+ years I still have one chair that I sit in when I want to cross the threshold and reside in my inner wilderness and embrace solitude.
When I traveled regularly I loved traveling to large cities for I would then walk the streets late at night and would be able to enter into the wilderness when I did so. Even now, this morning, I can close my eyes and re-experience the solitude of walking alone in a large city during the middle of the night. Large cities were my modern equivalent of the wilderness of Moses, Amos, Jesus and Paul.
I have a good friend, George, who finds his place of solitude in the woods or by the sea shore (think: ocean) or in the mountains. I knew a farmer who walked out into his fields and sat down as this was his wilderness and place of solitude. I knew the President of a large corporation who would close his office door, sit in his ‘chair-of-solitude’ and for five minutes he would experience being in the wilderness – a place of solitude for him.
A QUESTION: Gentle Reader, what is – or might be – your equivalent of the wilderness?
A QUESTION: Gentle Reader, what do you need to do in order to commit to developing and integrating a routine that would more likely open the door to solitude for you?
This leads us to our second condition.
The Time & Timing of Solitude. Many of the great wisdom figures, mystics and prophets would rise before dawn in order to move into solitude. Preparation for a noise-full, busy-full, distract-full, challenge-full day. Time & Timing are crucial. Experimenting with a variety of Times (length of time spent in solitude) and Timing might be helpful – at minimum they will provide you feedback. When I was living a life amidst the chaos I found that I was more likely to go to solitude when I embraced ‘solitude as sacred’.
I have a friend who wrote down her schedule for the day and then she chose two times when she would enter into solitude. One time was ‘internal’ and one time was ‘external.’ The specific times would vary from day to day – the length of time she spent in solitude would not (five minutes for the ‘internal’ and fifteen minutes for the external).
Gentle Reader, I invite you to experiment, then choose and commit for at least 28 days. Then evaluate. Go for consistency, not perfection for ‘things happen’ – things that will hinder or interrupt our time of solitude.
Given all of this, what are some practices/disciplines that might support and nurture ‘Solitude’?
I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude. –Thoreau
Searcher-Seeker 