He was 91. He died on 25 January 2000. His funeral service and life celebration was on 28 January 2000. As I sit here this morning/mourning, Tears are washing my face as I look at a photo of my father. . .and, I remember.
On this day, 20 years after his passing, I want to share with you once again, Gentle Reader, the eulogy I offered on 28 January, 2000. As you read I invite you to remember a person in your life who was a role model for you; a person who gifted you, challenged you, supported you and cared for you.
My father, Ernest Vernon Smith, Jr. was, like his father, ‘an old-time country doctor’ who practiced his art until he was 82. He served more than three generations of families. Here are the words I shared with those in attendance on 28 January, 2000.
The Poet Markova writes:
I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me.
To make me less afraid, more accessible.
To loosen my heart
Until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance.
To live
So that which came to me as seed goes on as blossom
And that which came to me as blossom
Goes on as fruit.
My father lived this poem and carried the torch and promise to many others in many subtle yet powerful ways.
Yesterday I was reading through one of my journals looking for a context for these comments. I came upon the following that I had written: ‘The eyes, the face, the hands are areas in space where the spiritual reality of the person becomes present to others. From here, the inmost being of the individual pours forth.’
My Father’s Eyes. Bright, soft, penetrating, caring, admonishing, compassionate, intelligent, impish, and oh, so very blue! I last looked deeply into those soft, blue eyes on Sunday night as I was leaving his hospital room; I did not know that this would be the last time our eyes would meet. Our eyes held one another and we held each other’s hands as we look deeply into each other’s heart; we said to one another, ‘I love you.’
Those wondrous eyes!
How they must have looked to the thousands of people he served for more than 58 years. Those eyes, blue and sparkling, meeting my mother’s own bright blue eyes in 1934 – he had, as my mother reminded me yesterday, already taken out all of the other nurses (300 is the number I recall) and then he asked her out. The mutual eye-sparkle was fanned into flames of love that have endured more than 64 years and also produced 6 children who have carried this sparkle into their lives.
I remember watching my parents exchange those sparkling, impish looks with one another as I was growing up – I was fascinated by their exchanges, and I was a bit envious – I still am.
I remember, as a child, my father’s eyes holding me when I was ill; and I think of all of those souls he held with those healing eyes. I wonder, as I look out over this room filled with those he loved, how did Ernie’s Eyes affect you?
REFRAIN ‘The eyes, the face, the hands are areas in space where the spiritual reality of the person becomes present to others. From here the inmost being of the individual pours forth.’
My Father’s Face. What are the words that come to your mind my friends when you reflect upon my father’s face?
For me the adjectives flow like a powerful river, bringing life and energy to all who drank his face in: Beauty, strength, humor, intelligence, inquiry, competence, jokester, healer, competitor, surgeon, colleague, friend, father, husband, dedicated physician, servant.
Sit a moment with me and remember his face and the words that come to mind for you as you image him standing before you. . . .
Over the years I have thought of how his face affected those who were waiting for him to come and serve them. I thought about the response in themselves and in their family as my father walked into their homes and into their lives carrying his little black bag of hope with him; a hope that would sustain them in their hour of need.
REFRAIN ‘The eyes, the face, the hands are areas in space where the spiritual reality of the person becomes present to others. From here the inmost being of the individual pours forth.’
My Father’s Hands. Magnificent. Steady. Ambidextrous. Deft. Confident. Vise-like (for those of you, like me, that tried to out-vise him and lost; you know what I mean).
The hands that held a scalpel, a clamp, a needle, a new-born. Hands that were guided by the eyes, held in place by the calm, professional face that brought his skill and energy and dedication to the service of ALL who needed him; whenever they needed him.
Through his eyes, his face, his hands, my father, in spirit, truly became present to us: his colleagues, his patients, his friends, his children and his wife.
My father’s presence will truly live on in each of us, will live on in our relationships, and in the fruit of our relationships and will live on in this community that he was dedicated to and served for a life-time. We have all been blessed by my father and we are now asked to continue to bless all of those that we encounter, every day, for the rest of our lives. I pray, each day, that I can in some small way live into the dedication and service that my father lived into and out of for a life-time.
Here is a photo of my father and mother standing outside of their home in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin. The date was 20 July, 1995 and it was their 60th wedding anniversary.
Searcher-Seeker 