Prayer in my opinion is nothing else than an intimate sharing between friends; it means taking time to be alone with Him who loves us. –Saint Teresa of Avila
Good morning Gentle Reader.
For me, the first condition of Private Prayer is to recognize that solitude is essential and therefore, I must discipline myself in order to make it a priority in my daily life.
There is a ‘cost’ to embracing this spiritual discipline. Conversation with God, via Private Prayer, is a necessity, not a luxury. Fifty-seven years ago Private Prayer became something different for me. It was no longer what happened as I prepared for sleep; it was also different from the terror-stricken appeals I sent to God [although I continue to engage in both]. I also learned that, like all searching conversations, a searching conversation with God required time – not ten minutes but sixty minutes.
It is not news to anyone who has attempted to engage in this type of Private Prayer that the simple act of setting aside a ‘sacred time’ each day for Private Prayer is, for many, a daunting challenge. We are, in our Culture, a busy-body people; we are addicted to action and speed and noise and distraction; our ability to ‘attend to’ is measured in seconds not even in minutes. We love swimming in the shallows and strive to avoid the depths; swimming in the depths requires discipline, time, commitment, and never-ending preparation.
To put it another way: Rather than take the time to keep a ‘written journal’ we have resorted to capturing the depth of our life in 140 characters – bytes rather than full meals.
Some of my Private Prayer is spoken – a conversation with God. For me there is something firm and tangible and attention-holding as I engage in a prayer-conversation with God. Hearing my own words spoken is akin to renewing a vow – it recommits me. As I speak I image God walking with me. God listens. Then God speaks – I don’t always hear what God says but I find comfort knowing that God speaks to me.
In my conversations with God I speak with God just as I would speak with my closest friend. I laugh, I cry, I feel pain, I curse, I stumble over my own words, I fight distractions and I wait with expectation to hear what my friend has to offer me – his or her laughter, tears, pain, cursing, and word-stumbling. At times no words are exchanged; we walk together wrapped in silence. I cherish these times of walking in silence.
I conclude my Private Prayer time by emerging a phrase – a mantra if you will – that I will carry with me during the day. During the day I will, then, stop, visualize my being with my friend – God – and I will repeat the phrase. I will also recall and repeat the phrase when I become stressed, angry, whelmed-over, anxious, depressed or pained. I do not write the phrase down; nor do I ‘hold on to it’ for more than a day. The ‘letting go’ and ‘taking on’ is a crucial discipline for me (perhaps I will write about this discipline some day).
Sometimes the phrase emerges as ‘my words’ and sometimes the phrase is one that another has offered me; a line from a poem, for example. I will not share the context for the phrase I will hold today. However, I will, in closing, offer you, Gentle Reader, the phrase. Today it is a line from a poem: I will not die an unlived life!
For me, it is essential to have the inner peace and serenity of prayer in order to listen to the silence of God. –Adolfo Perez Esquivel
