I cannot remember how many times I have been advised to not sweat the small things. I cannot recall how many times I even said these words to others. Perhaps this admonishment is a helpful guideline – perhaps.
A few months ago I was sitting here in one of my not so favorite coffee shops which is located close to where I was going to have a good thinking session with a thought-partner. As I attempted to settle into a quite uncomfortable chair – one of many in this shop – one of my initial responses was to say, this is a small thing, you will only be here for an hour or so, don’t sweat it. Then I paused.
Small things can, and often do, make a difference. I remember my mother being hurt by family members not sending thank you notes – I was, at times, one of those who did not. Internally I also remember saying, mom this is a small thing, don’t sweat it while externally I attempted to put balm on her wound [which probably didn’t help – the wound had been delivered].
These past few years I have become aware of the power of those little thank you notes as I experience a type of ‘wound’ that is inflicted when a niece or nephew, and now grandniece or grandnephew do not take the time to send a note or send an email and thank me for their gift [I am blessed in that my two children, now adults, continue to respond to me with gratitude – both in writing and verbally].
I remember spending time twenty-five years ago with a remarkable man; he was insistent on learning, retaining, and using people’s names and each day he would make sure he learned of employees who were ‘struggling’ with a work issue or with a family issue and he would send them a note; he would write out the note early in the morning or late in the day and send it off.
I asked him why. It’s the small things that matter! That was his reply. I felt a story lurking behind his response so I asked him if a story did exist. He paused and told me that when he was a young executive the ‘big boss’ stopped by his office and said, ‘John, welcome to the firm, I hope the wife and kids are fine.’ Then the ‘big boss’ turned on his heel and departed. Bill said, he didn’t even know my name and I was not even married at the time. He then added, it was a small thing in the big scheme of things, but I never fully trusted him again.
We all know, perhaps at several levels of our being that the small things do matter – no perhaps about it.
Searcher-Seeker 