My father was a person of few words, spoken or written. When he spoke, we paused to listen. One of the reasons I would pause was that my father would often say something that did not fit the context. I took great glee when he spoke this way. For example, he was quickly passing through the family room one afternoon and I asked him where he was going in such a hurry. His reply, as he motored by was, “I am going to see a man about a dog!’ He moved on and I stared into the empty space that was, a second before, filled with my father. Then I laughed.
One night I had a question for my father, I was reading a story for class and the word ‘paradox’ appeared before my eyes. I could have looked it up but I wanted a few minutes with my father and so I trundled off to his den where I knew he would either be reading or working with his stamps or coins (he had a magnificent stamp collection). I knocked on the closed door and he invited me in. He was reading (he was an avid reader). I asked him, ‘What is a paradox?’ He looked up, gave me ‘the look’ that suggested that I go look it up in the dictionary; then he paused and said, ‘Among other things, it is two doctors.’ He then returned to his reading. As I turned to leave I noticed a smile cross his face. My father had just told me, in his way, to go look the definition up and he also gifted me with his quick humor. I could hardly wait to go to school the next day and tell the class what I had learned.
So, gentle reader, in addition to being two doctors, what is a paradox? The word, paradox, comes from two Greek words, para meaning ‘beyond’ and doxa meaning ‘opinion.’ Literally, then, a paradox is something ‘beyond opinion’ – today we might say that it conveys the sense of being beyond the pale of current opinion or ‘contrary to current thinking.’ In Shakespeare’s time it had a negative connotation, suggesting something that was fantastically unbelievable or even heretical (I learned this in reading Bill Bryson’s wonderful book, The Mother Tongue – if you, Gentle Reader, are not familiar with this gem I invite you to check it out). Over time, the meaning shifted to how we use it today – something that is true even though it may seem untrue. Here is one that was given us by the poet Robert Browning: ‘Less is more.’ We are not speaking logically when we use this now common paradox.
Now, in order to grasp a paradox one must be able to think abstractly which is probably why young children become confused when one offers them a paradox [of course, I have also met many adults whose strength is concrete thinking and they do not find them interesting and frequently experience them as a bother – the same could be said of ‘literalists’ who are not enamored with word-play].
Here’s another common paradox given to us by the French writer Alphonse Karr: ‘The more things change, the more they remain the same.’ Literally, the statement is false. However, Karr provides us with an important life-lesson. Even though I change, often dramatically, as I age I remain in a real sense the same.
One more before I finish today’s posting. I am drawn to the wisdom of the ancients and one of these folks is the Chinese wise-man, Lao-Tzu. He noted that to lead the people, walk behind them. Followers must truly feel that the leader ‘has their back’ as it were. Leaders must also be willing to serve the followers and one way of doing this is making space for them to choose which direction to go.
Searcher-Seeker 