The greatest of the virtues is Love. –God
Gentle Reader, I concluded my last entry by naming two of my major blocks; blocks that, at minimum, hinder me from releasing love. The two blocks: Belief and Attachment. As I explore these this morning I invite you, Gentle Reader, to take some time and reflect upon the one or two major blocks that you have integrated – blocks that, at minimum, hinder you from releasing love. I cannot speak to your blocks, I can only speak to mine.
Belief. I have learned that for me, Belief, is a tent that houses a number of brothers and sisters. Within my tent of Belief resides, at minimum, a core assumption, a core stereotype, a core prejudice, a core surety, a core judgment, a core value, a core attitude and a core ‘truth’ about the other(s).
As a living paradox I am both virtue and vice, light and darkness, good and evil. I have, therefore, ‘cores’ that are also virtue and vice, light and darkness, good and evil. What hinders me from releasing love are the ‘cores’ that are rooted in vice, darkness and evil.
For me, a ‘Belief’ involves a conclusion that I hold about a person – or about a group of persons. The fixed negative ‘Beliefs’ I hold first hinder my ability to be sensitive. I no longer ‘see’ the other(s) as fully human beings; at worse I no longer see the other(s) as human at all. I do not encounter a person, for I de-humanize the other(s); as Martin Buber put it, I do not relate ‘I-Thou,’ I relate ‘I-It.’ How can I choose to be sensitive (think: compassionate, empathetic, caring, loving) to the other(s) that I do not even ‘see’ as being fully human or worse I see an ‘It’?
Once I harden my perception – my ‘Belief’ – I harden my heart. My life-long challenge is to become aware of the ‘Beliefs’ I have integrated that enable me to release love and that enable me to withhold love. Awareness, as we know, brings disturbance. It is the disturbance that is a gift, if not a motivator, for me to consider whether I should ‘hang onto’ or ‘let go of’ a ‘Belief.’
There is another ‘tent’ that I have erected that sits next to my tent of ‘Belief’ and that is my tent of Attachment (among other things I am attached to my beliefs).
Attachment. I have discerned the how I become attached. Here is my how: First I experience something that gives me pleasure (think: satisfaction, peace, joy, wonder, etc.). This experience can be concrete, a new car or book or person. This experience can also be abstract, a word of praise. I cross the line into attachment when I then develop a desire to hold onto, to keep, and/or to ‘own.’ Then it is but a small step for me to come to the conviction that I will not be happy without ‘it.’
For me, what comes along with an ‘Attachment’ is an exclusion of other things or people or experiences. I become insensitive to that which is not part of my attachment. At worse, I become obsessed with having to have my attachment – nothing else matters (I think they call this an addiction).
Like my harm-full ‘Beliefs’ my ‘Attachments’ harden my heart. Not only am I not able to release love, I, too often, move love from the sacred to the profane.
It is then an easy step for me to choose to cling to my harm-full Beliefs and Attachments. Years ago I wrote a poem about this. I will conclude by sharing this poem with you, Gentle Reader.
TO CLING. . .
In Afghani, the verb to cling
Is the same as the verb to die.
He clung to his beliefs
like some things, superglued,
permanently attached
but not integrated.
He moved into the crowd
of life. Paths, not hearts, opened
before him. Space was created,
but not soul-connections.
Clinging, still, his beliefs
slowly emptied his soul
of spirit, of compassion.
Clinging, he slipped into
the death he so wanted
to avoid, but could not. –Richard W Smith, 21 February 2003
Searcher-Seeker 