In the late 1970s Henri Nouwen was teaching at Yale when he became friends with Fred. Their friendship deepened and lasted until Nouwen’s death some 20 years later. Fred read and savored Nouwen’s writings, yet as a self-declared secular Jew he was unable to assimilate much of Nouwen’s Christian-rooted thinking. One day, as they were walking along, Fred said, ‘Why don’t you write something about the spiritual life for me and my friends? You have something to say, but you keep saying it to people who least need to hear it . . . What about us young, ambitious, secular men and women wondering what life is all about after all? Can you speak to us with the same conviction as you speak to those who share your tradition, your language and your vision?’
Fred pressed Nouwen more: ‘Speak to us about the deepest yearnings of our hearts, about our many wishes, about hope . . . about trust . . . about love. Speak to us about a vision larger than our changing perspectives and about a voice deeper than the clamorings of our mass media. Yes, speak to us about something or someone greater than ourselves. Speak to us about. . . God.’
Nouwen responded that he was not ‘Qualified’ to speak to what his friend was requesting. ‘Who am I to speak about such things? . . . I don’t have the experience, the knowledge or the language you are asking for. You and your friends live in a world so different from my own.’
Fred would not be dismissed so easily: ‘You can do it . . . You have to do it . . . Visit me more often; talk to my friends; look attentively at what you see, and listen carefully to what you hear. You will discover a cry welling up from the depths of the human heart that has remained unheard because there was no one to listen.’
Nouwen was whelmed-over: ‘What could I possibly say to a world of rushing taxicabs, glass-covered office towers, and show business going on day and night?’
As they were walking the streets of New York, Fred would not be put off: ‘Speak from that place in your heart where you are most yourself. Speak directly and simply, lovingly, gently and without any apologies. Tell us what you see and want us to see; tell us what you hear and want us to hear . . . Trust your own heart. The words will come. There is nothing to fear. Those who need you most will help you most. You can be sure that I will.’
Eventually, from deep within Nouwen a book emerged: ‘Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World’.
Nouwen writes in his Prologue: ‘I have chosen to speak directly – as I would in a personal letter. By keeping Fred and his friends at the center of my attention, I can best express what is in my heart. I am not able to deal with all the burning issues of our time and society, but I am able to write a dear friend whom I came to know and love as a fellow-traveler searching for life, light and truth. I hope that through my being so personal and direct many may want to ‘listen in’ and even join in this spiritual search.’
Searcher-Seeker 
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