During the past twelve months three of my friends had parents who celebrated their birthdays – each parent was in his or her late 90s. Both of my parents were in their nineties when they died. Also, recently, on two separate occasions I was directly referred to as ‘old.’ Yesterday my older brother, Steve, and I found ourselves laughing about ‘old age.’ As I thought about all of this, I began to reflect, once again, on ‘old age.’
What is emerging at times seems to be a ‘rant’ and at other times seems to be more ‘reflective’ – hence the title: ‘Old Age – A Reflective Rant.’ A gift of old age is that one can rant and folks will excuse the rant and say things like: ‘Don’t mind his ranting on; just chalk it up to old age!’ This is the ‘gift’ – we old folks have the freedom to rant on and on. The downside of this will be made clear in a bit.
I am not sure when ‘old age’ sets in. Some say it’s an attitude. Some say it quickly follows ‘retirement’ (whatever that is). My father died when he was 91 and only in his last year of life did I consider him to be old – and this occurred only a few times. I did not consider my mother to be old until I was with her in hospice the afternoon she died. There was a light, a shining light, in their blue eyes that belied their years.
On the other hand, when I attended our 20th high school reunion I saw a man there who was 38 and looked 138. Jim was not ‘ill’ he was ‘dis-eased’ with life and had been for some time. He was ‘old beyond his years.’ Airline pilots are deemed to be ‘too old to be captains’ at age 65. In some states, surgeons are deemed to be ‘too old to be the lead surgeon’ at age 65. Competency is not the issue – ‘old age’ is. On the other hand, certain ‘appointments’ are made for ‘life’ (think Supreme Court); so competency, again, does not seem to come into play.
There is a running debate in our country regarding these two questions: ‘What do we OWE the old?’ ‘Do we OWE the old anything?’ Given the current debate regarding ‘health-care’ these questions are crucial (well, I think they are crucial).
‘What do we owe the old?’ We owe the old reverence! Interestingly, I never heard an old person request this. On the other hand, I have heard (more than a few times) us old folks ask for things like ‘consideration,’ ‘attention,’ and ‘not to be discarded nor forgotten.’ One father and mother will raise 12 children and yet 12 children are unable to care for one father and one mother (how about this for a definition of obscenity?).
How often do we consider caring for the old as an act of charity rather than a privilege (or even as an ‘obligation’ or a ‘duty’)?
We ‘People of the Book’ (that is, Jews, Christians, and Muslims) were gifted with the Ten Commandments. How often do we forget that our God proclaimed loud and clear: Revere your father and your mother! There is no reverence for our God without reverence for father and mother.
Searcher-Seeker 
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