As I was sitting in my favorite coffee & bakery shop this morning savoring my coffee I was holding two or three potential topics for my posting today; which one would I write about? As I was savoring and pondering a family of four entered the bakery. The pre-teen son and daughter were arguing (ah…pre-teens, what a blessing). The son, rooted in great frustration, blurted out: ‘That’s not fair!!!’
A question emerged into my consciousness: What does it mean ‘to be Fair’? What is Fairness anyway? In our culture Being Fair/Fairness is a big deal (or if you are a pickle, it is a Big Dill). Let’s explore this a bit. Here are two definitions of each (among many, I might add).
Fair = just, equitable, impartial, unbiased, dispassionate, objective mean free from favor toward either or any side. Fair implies a proper balance of conflicting interests. ⟨a fair decision⟩; Just implies an exact following of a standard of what is right and proper.
Fairness = impartial and just treatment or behavior without favoritism or discrimination.
They seem pretty clear to me. And, I think, they would be acceptable to the vast majority of adults in our culture. In a sense, these definitions are ‘universal’ in nature; cultures who have a concept of ‘Fair’ and ‘Fairness’ would also agree to these definitions. Yet, as any adult knows, when we strive to apply these definitions to ‘real life,’ things quickly become messy. Why is this so?
Well, one response lies in how we engage two concepts: Principle & Parameters. We humans tend to agree on the Principle. For example, in our culture, there is agreement that our nation is rooted in a principle of Freedom. We also support a principle of Fairness. Even though ‘we’ agree on the principles we, more often than not, end up in heated conflict with one another (think: Progressives and Conservatives); each side claims that they support the Principle of Fairness [at their worst, each side also states that ‘the other side’ has no concept of what Fairness really means].
What sets each side apart is not the Principle of Fairness. What sets each side apart are the Parameters. What? What are Parameters? Each Principle requires Parameters in order to move from the ‘abstract’ to the ‘concrete’ [think: moving from theory to action]. Once the parameters are set, judgments of fairness will, too often, become incomprehensible to the other side. For example, Conservatives do not understand Fair & Fairness the same way that Progressives do even though both claim the same definitions for Fair & Fairness.
It is not the Principle that engenders the misunderstandings and the conflicts. The Parameters engender and support them. Thus, Conservatives and Progressives can – and do – hold the same Principle AND at the same time misunderstand, disagree with, engage in conflict with ‘the other.’ The Parameters also enable each side to ‘judge’ the other side as ‘Un-American’ or, at worst, as ‘The Enemy’ of the Principle.
In order to help us understand the concept of Parameters I will, next time, employ a metaphor or analogy: ‘Cooking.’ [An Aside: I chose ‘Cooking’ because I am sitting in a bakery, because my mother was a superb cook and because I like to eat.]
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