When I embrace diverse views it means that I strive to be open to and to become aware of a number of possible perspectives – in a sense the number of possible perspectives will never be exhausted. We can view this on a macro and on a micro scale. For example, the nuclear accident at Chernobyl was portrayed (continues to be portrayed) in a variety of colors: It was a ‘heroic sacrifice to the benefit of mankind,’ and it demonstrated ‘gross and destructive negligence.’
On a more personal note. When my mother was alive I would call her twice a week; I did this for years. My goal was to be ‘regular’ and ‘predictable’ as to the day and time of my call. My routine of calling and of being ‘a good son’ was called into question one day. I drove ‘home’ in order to spend a few days with my mother. When I arrived ‘home’ my mother was being visited by her best friend. After we greeted one another I sat down to join them. My mother then said to her friend: ‘On Monday’s and Wednesdays I have to plan my morning in order to make sure I am home when Richie calls. I feel tied down.’ My ‘view’ did not match my mother’s ‘view’ – my perception did not match hers. I changed my ‘routine’ – we emerged one that we both agreed to. All went quite well after that (as I recall).
Now I am recalling Woody Allen’s film Annie Hall. The husband and wife were sitting with their individual therapists. The husband was asked how often he and his wife made love. ‘Hardly ever,’ he said, ‘no more than three times a week.’ The scene switched to the wife and her therapist. Same question. In response the wife said: ‘Constantly – at least three times a week.’
What is important to note is that as ‘Observers,’ we judge behavior according to whether, as ‘Actors,’ we could or should or would behave the same as the other. I love to play golf. I will take a shot that others might deem to be ‘risky’ – it was not the smart or safe shot. What this means is that my perceived competence exceeded someone else’s estimates of his (or her) own competence. It does not mean that I took more of a risk than someone else would have, had he (or she) felt as confident as I. I took the shot because I believed I could make the shot.
The observer, however, would not have risked the shot and deems my perceived level of self-competence to be at best an ‘illusion’ and at worst a ‘delusion of grandeur.’ My golfing companion saw me as a ‘risk-taker’ and I saw myself as a competent shot-maker. By the by, I enjoyed my playing companion’s compliment – I did not argue with him.
Here are some quotations by famous golfers about risk-taking:
Of all the hazards, fear is the worst. –Sam Snead
Take risks; if you win you will be happy…if you lose you will be wise. –Bobby Jones
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. –Ben Hogan
Leave a Reply