Two mornings ago I overheard two women talking; they were sitting in a booth that was close to my writing table at Panera Bread. They were talking about our presidential election and one of them remarked how fearful she was regarding the outcome. A question emerged into my little brain: ‘What is fear?’ I have been holding this question for two days and this morning I decided to write a bit about ‘fear.’
When it comes to ‘Fear’ there are ‘SIX ‘Fs’ that come to my mind: Fear, Fearful, Fear-full, Fearless, Fear-less and Feckless.
Fear = a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, or pain. [By the by, the difference between Fear and Anxiety is that ‘fear’ involves a ‘real-direct threat’ while ‘anxiety’ involves a possible or potential ‘threat’ or an ‘imagined threat.’]
Fearful = causing fear, feeling fear, feeling awe or reverence.
Fear-full = when we ‘become’ our fear.
Fearless = bold, brave.
Fear-less = reckless, rash.
Feckless = ineffective, incompetent; have little or no sense of response-ability or responsibility – often triggered by either fear of failure, fear of ‘not measuring up’ or fear of succeeding.
When I step off the curb and all of a sudden a car is bearing down upon me I experience a direct threat and I have a feeling of ‘fear.’ I am fearful. If, after that, terrifying experience, I have the same feeling of ‘fear’ every time I approach a cross-walk (either on foot or while in a vehicle) then I ‘have become my fear’ – I am ‘fear-full.’ If I have never experienced a direct ‘cross-walk’ threat and yet when I step off the curb and I have the same feelings as one who is directly threatened by a car bearing down on him then I experience what is called ‘anxiety’ (fear of the unknown or of the possible or of the potential).
If I am walking down the street and I notice a child wandering in the middle of the street and I see a car bearing down on him or her I will feel anxious and fearful. If I then, in spite of my anxiety and fear, rush into the street and save the child from impending tragedy I am being ‘fearless’ – I am being ‘brave.’
A number of years ago I was in Australia. As we were driving along I noticed a sign by the river that read: ‘Stay Away, Crocodiles are Present!’ My host then told me about a tourist who, the week before I arrived, had ignored this warning and ‘bravely’ walked to the river’s edge and was, in a flash, snatched into the river by a large, hungry, crocodile. This is a great description of ‘Fear-less’ – of being ‘reckless’ and ‘rash’ (and, in this case, dead).
I love the concept of ‘feckless.’ For me, it captures quite well, if not eloquently, one of the reasons why one becomes ineffective or incompetent or irresponsible or non-respone-able. When one is rooted in ‘fear of failure’ or in ‘fear of not measuring up’ or in ‘fear of success’ one might resort to becoming ‘feckless.’ Being ‘feckless’ is a protection – or at least one seems to believe that being so is a ‘protection-from.’
I conclude this morning with two quotations that came to my mind a few minutes ago.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. –Franklin D. Roosevelt
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. –Plato
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