CONSIDER ‘INQUIRY’. . .

I recently returned from a trip to Denver, Colorado.  While there I spent the day with an intriguing organization and offered the folks there a significant number and variety of questions to consider.  Since returning home I have been thinking (mostly at a preconscious level) about the concept of ‘Inquiry.’  There are a number of different types of inquiry and this morning I have decided to share two with you.  So, without further ado, I invite you, gentle reader, to ‘Consider Inquiry.’

The first type of inquiry, and for me the most important type, is Relational Inquiry.  Relational Inquiry is rooted in my curiosity and interest in the other as a fully human being.  Getting to know and understand the other enables me to minimize my own biases and preconceptions about the other.  I also inquiry from a place of not knowing – the other is my teacher, if you will – and in doing so I seek to honor the other.

I seek to inquire in such a way that the other feels safe and will choose to reveal more of him/herself to me.  I want to send a message that I am truly interested in him/her as a fully human being.  I want to send a message that I am truly curious about ‘what is on their mind.’  I have learned, via hard lessons, that if I am not really interested in the other that he/she will know this (no matter how hard I try to ‘fake it’).  My motive is ‘deep interest in the other’ – this is conveyed by the types of questions I ask, by my body language, tone of voice, timing, emotional tone, etc.

For Relational Inquiry to be helpful and affirming I must listen first in order to understand and in seeking to understand the other I honor the other as a unique, fully human being.

The second type of inquiry, one that frequently emerges as I engage in the first, is Analytic Inquiry.  The other has responded to my inquiry and has provided me with information about him/her self.  In response I choose to inquire further about the information.  In doing so I begin to steer the conversation; I might also begin to influence the other’s mental process in unknown ways or in ways not intended by either of us.  I must strive to become aware of my purpose for using inquiry to ‘steer the process.’  ‘Why,’ ‘What,’ and ‘How’ questions tend to steer the conversation and are, by their nature, analytic.

In framing Analytic Inquiries I might focus on the others’ ‘feelings and reactions.’  A common inquiry is: ‘How did you feel about that?’  ‘What reactions did that trigger in you?’  It is crucial for me to strive to remember that as ‘innocent’ and ‘supportive’ as these questions seem to be they can ‘take over’ the process and ‘put me in control’ of where the process now goes.  I might actually inquire so that the other goes to a place that he/she is not ready to go to (thus I manipulate the other).

In framing Analytic Inquiries I might also focus on the ‘Causes and Motives.’  ‘Why did that happen?’  ‘What may have caused you to…?’  Now, it seems to me, that I am forcing the other to join me in figuring stuff out – am I simply striving to satisfy my own curiosity?

There are also inquiries that are Action Oriented.  ‘What have you attempted to do up to this time?’  ‘What are you going to choose to do now?  The danger here is that these questions can more powerfully direct the other and they are more likely the questions that can powerfully influence the others’ mental process.  These questions can be extremely helpful and they can support dis-ease or harm.  They can be helpful if they are truly rooted in a place of ‘not knowing’ and they can be dis-eased if they are used to direct the other to places of my choosing (they are, ‘self-serving’).

There are additional ‘Inquiry Methods’ but these will suffice for today.  As Robert K. Greenleaf noted many years ago: Seek first to understand!’