OUR CULTURE – DO & TELL, PART III. . .

In our ‘Individualistic Culture’ we find it a challenge to like and to trust groups.  For example, we believe (at times not without good reason) that committees and meetings are a waste of time and, more importantly, that group decisions diffuse accountability (the way many committees and meetings are structured is the main culprit here, but we seem to have an investment in ensuring that committees and meetings ‘fail’).

Organizations invest money and time on team building when it appears that it is pragmatically necessary to do so – and team building initiatives are one of the first initiatives to be cut when ‘cost’ becomes an issue.  Yet, organizations continue to tout teamwork and honor the winning team (values the organization espouses), but organizations don’t for a second (and that might be too long) believe that the team could have succeeded without the individual star (this is the deep tacit cultural assumption that is actually lived out).  By the by, the ‘star’ always gets more money and accolades than the team or its members receive.  Organizations would never consider paying all team members the same.

We also espouse the importance of relationship-building and emphasize, at the same time, winning out over ‘the other;’ we emphasize outdoing each other – in conversations, in discussions, in planning sessions, and in allocating resources.  Because we value competition (which is rooted in a scarcity model – there can only be one winner and many losers, for example), we are suspect of cooperative high achievement (which is rooted in an abundance model – many can be high achievers).

Our Culture, today more than ever before, breeds distrust of strangers AND we have not developed formulas for how to ‘test’ trust nor how to ‘build’ trust.  We do not seem to realize that our emphasis on the ‘freedom of the individual’ breeds ‘caution,’ if not ‘mistrust’ of others (how many of us, for example, ‘trust those currently seeking our votes’ during this election cycle).

When we, in our culture, deal with people in other cultures that consider relationships to be intrinsic to getting the job done by building trust first (for they are a ‘communal culture’ not an ‘individualistic culture’), we quickly become impatient – and judgmental.  ‘Why are we wasting so much time on relationship building – let’s make the deal, let’s get to work!’

I remember spending three to four hours with Mr. Hasagawa (visiting from Japan) in a ‘relationship-building conversation’ (‘work’ was never mentioned).  He then picked up my business card from the table (we had been sitting across from one another), smiled and said, ‘You have the soul of an Asian, let us work together.’  The deal was done without the deal being done.  I had a similar experience with the Minister of Education during my many years serving the wonderful people of Singapore.  For more than 44 years now, building a relationship with a potential client, first, is paramount for me.