After my brother, Ernie, was admitted to the ICU a little over two weeks ago I intensified my praying my prayers. Last night I found myself reflecting upon ‘Prayer’ and as I was waking up this morning I found that I was still reflecting upon ‘Prayer.’ Now, three hours later I have decided to write a bit about what emerged for me.
All faith traditions, that I am aware of anyway, say that ‘Praying Your Prayer’ is crucial. As an espoused follower of Jesus-the-Christ I look to Him for guidance when it comes to, among other things, ‘Praying My Prayer.’ So what is ‘Prayer’?
Jesus-the-Christ tells me, by word and example that the most important thing about praying is to keep at it. Some of His images are, I find, quite comical (who says that God does not have a sense of humor). Perhaps Jesus-the-Christ found it a bit absurd that He had to explain praying our prayers to us.
God, He says, is like a close friend that you go to at midnight in order to obtain some bread. Your good friend, in effect, tells you to ‘forget about it; leave me alone.’ But, you know your friend is a good friend and so you keep ringing the doorbell; you persist until you are given what you want; your friend finally gives in so your friend can get back to sleep. Bread in hand, you walk into the darkness full of thanksgiving (or is it that you slink away, just a bit embarrassed at having put your friend in a bit of a bind).
Jesus also tells us that God is also like the crooked judge who refuses to hear the case of a certain poor widow, I think because the judge knows that there’s not much in it for him (why is the crooked judge always a man). But the widow keeps pestering the judge until he gives in and hears her case (the only way, it seems, the judge can get rid of her).
Be annoyingly persistent in your solicitation, Jesus-the-Christ tells us – not because I-You-We have to beat a path to and then knock on God’s door before He will open it but because before I-You-We beat out a path there is no way for God to get to ‘MY-YOUR-OUR’ door. Now that is a paradox worth considering.
Whatever else it may or may not be, ‘Prayer’ is at least talking to oneself – that in itself is a good idea. What might you talk to yourself about? As I was ‘Praying My Prayer’ for my brother, Ernie, I realized that I was also talking about my own life – about what I have done and about what I have failed or neglected to do. I talked to myself (and to God – hence my ‘Prayer) about who I am and about who I am choosing to become.
I talked to myself (and hence to God) about those I loved, love and neglected to love (enough or at all). I found myself talking to myself (and hence to God) about stuff that truly mattered and about stuff that matters – partly in order to remind myself about what, in the end, really matters. Even when I doubt that God is listening at least I know that I am striving to listen (I suppose that ‘faith’ means believing that God is listening even when He is not responding to my insistent knocking on His door).
I want to believe in ‘Praying My Prayer’ and when I am doubt-full, I remind myself of these words: “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”