Gentle reader, please see my 18 February, 2014 posting for the introduction and context for what follows.
Given this brief foray into Thich Nhat Hanh’s statement it seems clear to me why so little dialogue actually occurs – and conversely – why dialogue is so powerful when this essential quality is present. [As a reminder here is the statement: ‘This quality is essential for dialogue. When participants are willing to learn from each other.’]
For dialogue to bear fruit I must live, deeply, my own story and speak clearly my own voice, and, at the same time, I must listen deeply, receptively and intensely to others’ stories and I must risk calling forth and honoring their voices [the ‘honoring’ is more challenging to me than the ‘calling forth’ – although, given who the participants are both can be daunting challenges for me].
Through the discipline of deep looking and deep listening I become more free and more able to see the beauty and value of my own and others’ voices and stories.
Dialogue is a sharing of voices and stories; an honoring of voices and stories while holding an attitude that ‘I will be open to and potentially influenced’ by the voices and stories [I am reminded of my poem ‘CONNECTION’ as I write these words; I have added this poem to the end of this post].
Living organisms are driven by change and growth; in a dialogue all are committed to growth and change [or is it transformation – transformation = a fundamental change in character]. I need to believe that in engaging in a dialogue I will grow and change (if not transform). I must believe that your story is good, beautiful and meaningful and contains truth as you know it [my goal is to, with your help, understand your story and your truth]. My capacity to accept you is directly related to my capacity to accept myself – like you I am a living paradox; I am light and darkness, I am virtue and vice, I am good and evil. Do I truly believe that when I am at my healthiest, then I am truly who I am – a living paradox? Deep reflection, in order to affirm who I am in a positive sense plus the discipline of seeing the other as a fully human being enables me to hold both my own story and to honor the other’s story.
Am I willing to learn from the ‘other(s)’ that I meet along the way today? Who will I choose to ‘meet’ today? Who will I choose to ‘side-step’ or ‘ignore’ today? Today, will I be open to, if not inviting of, what appears to me to be a ‘discordant voice/story’?
CONNECTION
When I see you,
When I invite your voice
into my life,
When I listen to and honor
your story,
When I allow my heart to be touched
by who you are,
Then a step has been taken.
When I am seen by you,
When my voice is invited
into your life,
When you listen to and honor
my story,
When your heart is touched by
who I am,
Then a step has been taken.
When these steps occur together
then there is. . .
CONNECTION.
–©Richard W Smith November, 2007
Searcher-Seeker 
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