Two mornings ago, I saw a rainbow. The sun had just fully emerged over the horizon. I had just come out of a slight right hand turn, a bend in the road. The road presented me with a slight incline and as I reached the top. . . there it was. First the bright sun appeared. I blinked. Then I saw the rainbow; I caught my breath. It was stunning and incomplete. I could see the first third and the last third; I could not see the arc of the rainbow for the sun stood in the center. I was in awe. I pulled to the side of the road. I watched. I savored. I noticed the silence. No cars drove past me. No radio on. No music playing. I was aware of noticing and of listening to the silence. Listening. . .
As humans we are gifted with three senses that enable us to listen. Three of our five senses provide us an opportunity to develop the skill, the discipline and the art of listening. Three of the five! Yet. . . We do not invest the time, resources, and energy so that we develop and then build a capacity for listening. Hemingway, among many others, noted that ‘most people never listen.’ Developing the skill of listening and then building our capacity to listen requires, among others things, discipline (for many of us it requires rigorous discipline). Listening is a skill AND it is also an art. The artist – the painter, the musician, the potter, the poet, the parent, the physician – does not become an artist without the skill and capacity development and without great discipline. Without the discipline the artist cannot create his/her art. Without the discipline the listener cannot become an artful listener.
Researchers have confirmed that we humans spend at least 45% of our time listening and because we are not very good listeners we forget more than 75% of what we hear within two hours (or sooner for some). For those tested, the attention span for listening to another was about 22 seconds (and these folks knew they were being tested for listening!). We are easily distracted and we are impatient; quite a combination when it comes to listening intently and receptively. When it comes to listening it seems many of us have an A.D.D.
It is common for the folks who participate in good thinking teams that I guide to quickly experience that they do not listen well. When asked they can also list the reasons why. These reasons, I have found, are common to many of us: internal noise, external distractions, internal conversations, internally rehearsing what one is going to say, internally finishing what others are speaking (sometimes even speaking the words out loud), not being fully present (in the moment), and judging the other and/or what the other has to offer (gentle reader, you can expand on this list I am sure).
Add to this our cultural addiction to speed and busyness and it becomes clear why there is so little listening. Listening intently and receptively requires attention, time, and a certain attitude; it also requires that we have developed the skill, capacity and art of listening. Add to this the illusion that we can multi-task and our growing impatience (technology continues to seduce us into being addicted to the quick hit – 140 characters, for example) it is little wonder that as a culture we do not listen well. Even when we send messages, folks don’t always take the time to read them or respond to them for they are over-loaded with emails, tweets, and messages left on facebook, linkedin and blog comments (ah, their name is legion). I have several folks who don’t even listen to their voice messages – they see that I called and call me (the paradox: they say they don’t have time to listen to their voice mails but they have time to call me).
I have had the same physician for 15 years. I saw three days ago. One of the reasons I continue with him is that he listens to me. He also takes the time to engage me in a conversation – yesterday we explored why physicians are not prepared for ‘leadership roles’. I have referred others to him and they report similar experiences. He sees fewer patients than his colleagues mainly because he chooses to listen intently and receptively.
So, gentle reader, what are you doing to develop your skill and your capacity to listen more intently and receptively so you can develop more fully the art of listening?
Searcher-Seeker 
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