[Gentle reader: please see my postings for 22 & 23 December, 2012 for the context for today’s entry]
TAP ROOT #5 – TRUST
Caring (serving) requires trust. I trust the other will grow and develop in its own time and in its own way. When I care I appreciate and support and nurture the independence of the other. In caring, I trust that the other will learn from mistakes made. I have experienced that when the other realizes that ‘he trusts me’ that the other, more often than not, seeks to justify my trust by being trustworthy. When I trust the other I also have to ‘let go;’ I must take a risk or a leap of faith and this requires of me courage and vulnerability.
I am imperfect and so I also demonstrate a lack of trust in the other. For me, this lack of trust is manifested when I attempt to ‘form’ the other or to ‘categorize’ him or her or by ‘caring too much’ such that the other becomes dependent upon me. For others, a lack of trust is manifested by ‘indoctrination’ – this is the truth or the way and you must follow it. Indoctrination prohibits questioning or doubt. Indoctrination is not responsive to the needs of the other. Indoctrination says ‘I know what’s best for you.’ Trust says, ‘I know you can, with help, figure out what’s best for you.’ Trust says, ‘I will be with you as you strive to discern what is best for you.’
Trust in the other to grow is deeply rooted in actively promoting and safeguarding the conditions which warrant trust. For example, the caring teacher who trusts her students to find their own way in pursuing their own projects grounds such trust by providing the students with assistance, encouragement, and exposure to stimulating experiences.
The one caring must also trust himself to grow. If he does not trust himself to grow he will not be able to trust the other to grow. Trust in oneself is rooted in ‘self-knowledge’ – the one caring must know his deep assumptions about people; he must know how his core values and guiding life-principles support and hinder his ability to trust himself and thus to trust the other. The one caring must also trust her own capacity to care. She must also trust – and demonstrate – that she is able to learn from her own mistakes. The one caring must also trust his intuition. The one caring must also trust her ability to create an environment that is growth nurturing. The one caring gives trust; trust does not have to be earned – this is a challenge for those who believe that trust is only given when it is earned.
Trust will be broken for imperfect human beings are involved. Thus, forgiveness, reconciliation and healing are also crucial to caring rooted in trust.
Searcher-Seeker 